I think the first time I left home without my parents for more than a week was when I was about 12 years old. I went on a tour to California with my clogging team, and was under the supervision of my coach. I know it was hard for my mom to let me go, and to trust that everything would be okay. And I think it was even harder when I jumped on the bus and didn't even look back after our initial goodbye. I have always been very independent in this sense, and love to see new things on my own. I've been that way ever since!
I moved out right after high school, not too far from home, but far enough. Since then, I haven't lived at home again except a couple months between places. I spent two summers alone in San Francisco dancing. I leave for about a month every spring to tour Europe with the company I dance for. The past two summers I've spent in St. George working. After all the years of long absences, and not a single feeling of homesickness (weird word), I am suddenly overwhelmed with a deep desire to get back home.
I miss my dearest friends. Even though I don't see them all the time when I am home, its a comfort knowing that they're close. I miss my family, a lot. Maybe it has something to do with getting older, that I feel more connected to my family. I especially miss my nephew, I have a deep love for that kid. I miss my own decorated apartment, and my bed! I miss the girls that I would be teaching right now if I were home. I miss the job that I would be doing at this time, and the people involved.
I have always loved the idea of moving far away, or buying a one way ticket to someplace crazy, and working my way back. I still love these ideas, and plan on acting on them. However, I think I'm going through a stage/phase in life where I need to be close to the people and things that I love most and am familiar with.
I've had a some experiences the past few weeks that have just about pushed me over the edge. So many times I wanted to get in my car and drive straight home, and not come back at all! I was lucky to have a day off last week, and was able to go up north for a dose of my job, friends, and family! Though tiring, it was a great couple of days, and it's just what I needed to get me through another couple of weeks.
I'm a happy person, so when I feel down, it really bothers me! I like to laugh and play, and when things get in the way of that it really takes its toll. BUT, I was blessed with a small miracle this past Sunday and Monday.....what miracle??? RAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! One of my most beloved things in life is a good rain storm, it's just invigorating for some reason. On Sunday afternoon it POURED!!! And it was amazing!!! It started right after I got out of church. I ran outside immediately, and took a little more time than necessary getting to my car. I drove straight home, threw my purse into my apartment, and walked out right back out into the rain. I just stood in it for moment, and danced in it for another. It felt like every crappy feeling I'd been having was literally washed away. Then, as I was studying on Monday afternoon, it happened again. It was completely sunny, and out of nowhere it just came down! I didn't even bother to put shoes on, and ran outside once more. I just stood there, happy as could be. I stood there for the entire time it rained (only lasted about 5 minutes this time), and was completely drenched. Whatever it is about rain that gets me, I couldn't be more grateful for it. ITS BEAUTIFUL!!! There is nothing I needed more than this little miracle :)
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